I had two WTF?! moments in this Japanese Mazda Capella ad with French actor and playboy Alain Delon. One of them is the corny scene set in France. The second is the Alain Delon lunging at the girl on the rollerskates. Let me explain!
The first generation Daihatsu Charade was released in 1977 and the three door hatchback featured a weird looking opera window in the C-pilar. Today’s commercial isn’t about that funny three door, but its larger five door hatchback.
The ad seems to to highlight the fact that the Charade is everything a Toyota Crown sized car can offer with its boot (or trunk for you Americans) cut off. Is it really that large? The literal definition of Charade is an absurd pretence intended to create a pleasant or respectable appearance. So the Daihatsu Charade was meant to be something absurd which it actually isn’t? That sounds just about right when they pretended this Charade to be a Crown with its boot cut off!
What I found most confusing were the three ways of pronouncing Charade in this video. The first voice over pronounces it as the American charade (charayde), the female voice sings it as charaydo and the girl with the aviator glasses says “Yes, chalayde” with a thick Murican accent. So, what is it then?
I’m sure you must have a couple of WTFs in your head by now: a Suzuka Carol Levin AE86? Isn’t that supposed to be a Mazda Carol or a Toyota Corolla Levin AE86? No, it isn’t in this advertisement:
Whacky advertisement text
The Japanese writing reads: You might call it a space technology but this wheel holds the “romance of driving” of a new era. Right, so these Suzuka Carol wheels are supposed to be space technology that holds the romance of driving in a new era?
What are Suzuka Sangyo Carol wheels?
When I searched for Suzuka wheels, I could only find cheap knock-off wheels that are called Suzuka. I found via Kyusha Shoes that Suzuka Sangyo is the brand that made the Carol wheel. What I also found out is that Suzuka Sangyo actually was the brand behind the Long Champ XR4 wheel and the wheel was manufactured by SSR. This really surprised me as I was under the impression it was SSR who manufactured and sold it. Anyway, I digress…
This Work Equip advertisement is another wacky magazine advertisement from a random Japanese magazine. It’s just mindboggling what the designers must have thought when they composed this advertisement. Let’s go over all those texts in the advertisement! City after dark is our stage! You look so fine tonight! Let our dreams run all through the night I’m your heroin May I sit next to you? We’re the real Rock’n Rollers Come with us, Equip! You, get off! American Dream, you are going to be us
I’m quite puzzled by the I’m your heroin May I sit next to you? I could interpret this in various ways. Also, by the absence of a female person in this advertisement, the meaning of heroin makes me fear the worst!
This Fortran Drag Wheels advertisement has so many WTF?!s in it that I simply don’t know where to begin. I did feature the Fortran Revolt wheels before and those wheels also had some interesting advertisements. But these Drag wheels, oh boy! Let’s just unravel this ad. Layer by layer, detail by detail.
Gigantic woman towering the Manhattan Skyline
I think we can first start with the 1980s airbrush painting of a giantic woman which I can best describe standing in a Kiba-dachi stance towering over the Manhattan skyline. Her right high-heeled shoe is standing on top of the water in the Upper Bay or the Hudson River.
Is she wearing 1970s plateau shoes? She’s holding chains that seem to be coming from somewhere in downtown New York. The chains seem to break somewhere in the middle, but her arms don’t seem to suggest she is the one breaking it with force. On the contrary: she’s just holding them. Maybe the chain is put on a high voltage and now the centre link is disintegrating?
Over the moon and Jupiter
Behind the woman on the left, there is a gigantic moon. If the moon were this close to the earth, probably New York would have been flooded by the immense force of Moon-gravity. On the right of the woman, we can see a planet. Presumably, this is Jupiter. What is it doing there?
Another Skyline
The Manhattan skyline isn’t the only skyline in this advertisement. At the bottom of the advertisement, we can see a facelifted Nissan Skyline GT-EX C211 with a big golden 2000 GT Turbo sticker on the side of the car. Oy has some huge bubble-shaped over fenders and looks just like it was inspired by its Group 5 contemporaries. Why it’s floating on top of the water we don’t know. What we do know is that the wheels featured on this car are Fortran Drag Wheels. Even the license plate tells us so.
Above the woman, we can also see DRAG in bold painted letters and the tagline the Dynamic wheel. Why dynamic is written with a capital D is a mystery to me.
Conclusion
So, what do I make of this? If you look at all these pieces separately, it doesn’t make sense at all. The chain, the moon, Jupiter, the floating Skyline GT-EX, and the woman over the Manhattan skyline. Nothing makes sense.
That is until I realized the randomness of all these things must have a meaning. The Fortran Drag wheels are called the Dynamic wheel for a reason. They need to be dynamic in any situation: a too-close-for-comfort moon with a huge gravitational pull. Rescuing a Godzilla-sized woman who is being chained down. Floating with big balloon-sized tires on your Fortran Drag wheels. Yes, it all makes sense now!
The 1988 Nissan Cefiro A31 was offered as a sporty four-door saloon alternative to the Toyota Cresta and Chaser competitors. It shared many components with the Skyline (R31), Laurel (C31) and Leopard (F31) of a similar generation. The drivetrain and rear multi-link setup were shared with all four of them and the front strut-based suspension with the Laurel. If you squint your eyes, you will also conclude it shares its design with the beautifully styled 1988 Nissan Silvia S13.
So can we conclude the Nissan Cefiro A31 is just a Nissan Laurel C31 with a Silvia S13 nosejob? Perhaps it does. Judging from the various ads I found online it’s rather aimed towards the sportier image of the Silvia than the dull salaryman image of the Laurel. Most ads tend to highlight this. Most of them. Most of them except this one featuring a whale:
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